


Pointy Things

by rhys_iona (sera_wasnever)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: M/M, disclaimer: I did NOT write this, dragon - Freeform, hedgehog (NOT sonic)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29845974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sera_wasnever/pseuds/rhys_iona
Summary: Sowwy
Relationships: Xander Harris/Spike
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Pointy Things

Xander and Spike were both sitting on the leather studded sofa that Spike brought in from Giles’ garage from his Ripper days. Xander kept occasionally standing up, grabbing a pillow, putting the pillow back down, and sitting back on the sofa.

“Wot are you doin mate?” Spike spat.

“Look, it’s just the studs. They keep sticking into my bottom.”

“I’ll stick you – wait no. Shut up.”

“Wait, what did you say?”

“Um uh, I just. I just said that. Shut up.”

“Damn dude, you’re a little prickly today. I mean, even pricklier than usual.”

“Haha. Shut up you yankee dimwit.” Spike turned away, the blood rising to his gaunt cheeks.

Suddenly, they heard a squeal from the top of the stairs. They both picked up a spoon, and approached the source of the sound, warily. At the top of the stairs there was an inconspicuous looking hedgehog. They both looked at each other, shrugged, and proceeded to adopt it as their child.

“Aww, I think I’ll call him Spike Junior. Spikey Wikey.” Xander cooed, attempting to take the hedgehog into his arms like a child, but flinching at the inconspicuous spines.

“For one, I don’t appreciate that,” said the hedgehog wisely, “for two, I have a name. It is Bartholomew But a Cous Cous.”

“Posh wanker.” Spike muttered. “Bet you’re a tory. I’m a communist. Because I’m sexy.”

“You got that right,” Xander breathed sensually.

Caught in the moment, the two resumed making out, which, by the way, was what they had been doing on the couch. The hedgehog watched, like a disapproving mother.

The hedgehog coughed. “Now, I don’t know how you two fellows are going to solve this, but I came you to inform you of a conundrum –“ Bartholemew looked pointedly at both of them “- I am afraid that the votes are in. Both of you get pegged, and there’s nobody to do the pegging.”

Spike detached from Xander’s mouth and laughed, “Oh wow, that’s tragic.”

“Yeah, what the brit is trying say is, we’re trans.” Xander giggled, and was cut off by Spike resuming the making out.

The hedgehog sighed a beleaguered sigh and waddled into the bathroom to drink toilet water after its long journey.

“You may be trans,” he spoke into the darkness, “but I am a dragon.” A grin spread across his face, and his lips pulled back to reveal horrifying fangs. “And I am the transest of all.”

To Be Continued.

**Author's Note:**

> my little sister dictated this. she has watched 2 and a bit seasons. I say we bring back terrible cringe joke fics. This will be orphaned at some point.


End file.
